And then we laugh..

Laughter is healing. My family in Jordan love to laugh and that is one of the thing I enjoy about them.

but the person who makes my heart sing when she laughs is my grandma and not just the I’m-laughing-because-it’s-polite-laugh but the from-the-bottom-of-my-heart-laugh. I love when my grandma laughs to the point of tears.

I think I take after her in that aspect, when I truly laugh, it’s to the point of tears and that has been a while.

I honestly wish I could just record her laugh and play it when I feel down, nostalgic or just need to remember happy times.

Laughter does heal the soul.

 

It’s a success…sort of.

Ladies and Gentleman, the wedding dress is in Jordan! Alhamdullah!

For those of you who are wondering what I am talking about, here is part 1 to this story.

It’s a half win because I was so bent on getting my wedding dress to Jordan that it didn’t occur to me that anything else could go wrong. Both my checked bags were left in London. :/

When I got off the plane, collected my dress from the nice flight attendant, got through immigration and went to look for my bags…I waited and waited but they didn’t come. So, the baggage handler dude came over and said that there were no more bags and that mine were not back there. (He Checked)

So, off the baggage claim we went…and come to find out that the name on my bags was not my name. How did this happen? I’m not sure and it never occurred to me to check and make sure. So, they got left behind and I have been in Amman 2 days…hoping they will appear soon. I really would like to wear some different clothes!

If this is the worse that could happen, then I’m satisfied with my journey. I felt like I got to connect with different people over something that happens in every culture, Weddings. People zoomed in on the wedding dress and just opened up about their own weddings, proposals or just asked when mine was. It was nice to have something to talk to people about besides “What is that thing on your head?” Or “Do you get hot?” Or “Why do you wear it?” Or “Why don’t you take it off?” Or my personal favorite “Are you a Nun?” Not that I mind those questions, but it’s nice to find a happy thing to connect about. Hijab isn’t always a happy topic for people.

Oh, the things that connect us.

Are you getting married?

This is the question people have been asking me for the last 15 hours or so. Why would someone ask me that question? Because I am currently traveling from the US to Amman with a HUGE bag that is stamped with “DAVID’S BRIDAL” If that isn’t an indication…I don’t know what is!

I’m sure you are wondering how my travel experience has gone so far. Well, let me tell you!

First, the TSA dude told me that I could only have 2 carry on bags. I had 3 and had to either check one in or condense. So, I condensed into my dress bag. What else is a girl to do? Well, not take all of her worldly belongings to Jordan or be creative? Maybe I should make a correction…not take my shoes??

After that fun experience, I had to get the “pat down” the ladies were super nice about it and they asked me questions about the wedding, where I got the dress and all that good stuff and the lovely flight attendant hung it up for me on the plane…That ended and now I’m currently in London where I have gotten “Congratuations” to “Are you getting married?” to “I don’t want to crush your gown in the x-ray machine…but I’m cool because I have been doing a lot of crushing!

I also get lots of random smiles and stares from people…Has no one ever traveled with a wedding gown before?

I’m glad that I’m half-way done and I believe that I am winning this game!

Me + a Wedding dress Vs. 13hr flight + 3 hour layover, who will win?

This weekend, I am making the trip back to Jordan. I’m very familiar with this journey because in the last 2 years I have made it at least 3 times. One could say that I am an “expert” traveler. This trip is a little different. I am not only moving back to Jordan but also getting married in the next 6 months. (Yeah, I’m still in shock!) Since I have decided to wisely or unwisely buy my dress in the US. I have to carry it with me to Jordan.

I being the stubborn person I am who also happens to hate direct flights have oh so smartly decided to book a flight with a layover. You must ask now, did you buy your wedding dress first or the flight? Well, I bought my wedding dress first. Yep, I’m a winner. I feel that this is similar to the who came first question..The chicken or the egg, which scientists have solved. It’s the chicken. So, I will equate my wedding dress with the chicken. People have worn wedding dresses before flying.

BUT since I do call myself an “expert” traveler, why didn’t I realize that traveling with a wedding dress would be difficult? That is a good question that I have yet to answer.

Maybe I just need a little drama when I travel, make the trip more exciting…or just frustrating. I’m sure this will be a good story to tell when it’s all said and done but for now, it’s a huge worry.

Who will win? I’m not sure. I do hope it’s me and the wedding dress but I can’t be sure.

I say bring it on TSA, Airline people and anyone who will be in the way of me and my wedding dress!

 

CAIR Director Meets Jordan’s King Abdullah in D.C.

Interesting news about the King of Jordan from an American Islamic Source.

Nihad Awad, national executive director of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), met today with King Abdullah II of Jordan in Washington, D.C.

At the meeting with the Jordanian leader, Awad and other American Muslim and Arab-American leaders discussed issues such as how to improve relations between the West and the Muslim world, the impact of Arab Spring revolutions and of growing phenomenon of Islamophobia worldwide.

During his visit to the United States, King Abdullah is also met with President Obama, administration officials and members of Congress.

CAIR is America’s largest Muslim civil liberties and advocacy organization. Its mission is to enhance the understanding of Islam, encourage dialogue, protect civil liberties, empower American Muslims, and build coalitions that promote justice and mutual understanding.

Time

I have been thinking a lot about time. The concept of time and how it changes over the years. When we were young a minute was a really long time, and when someone said half an hour it was like the end of the world. We didn’t really have a concept of time but we did know that we wanted just another five minutes to play with our friends, stay up later, finish a book or even avoid taking a shower (I really hated showers when I was a kid).

As we got older, time became measured more by how long our classes were. How many hours we spent at school, with our friends, working and sleeping. The concept of time still didn’t feel the same. I had all the time in the world to do whatever I wanted. Including, deciding on what to do with my life, which college to go to, if I would ever meet a guy, and to travel.

In college, time was measured in class time, sleep, writing papers and time spent with friends. I had 4 years to figure out what kind of job I wanted to do. I didn’t have to choose a path until my second year in college, I did change my major 4 times in my first year but picked one and stuck with it. Driving back and forth from home to college took me 4 and half hours but always felt like less. It felt like 2 or sometimes 3 but never long and always easy. As my graduation date neared, thoughts of the future started popping in my head and I realized that I didn’t have enough time to do all that I had hoped to do in college. Including, travel, decide on a career path and figure out where I wanted to be or if I wanted to go to grad school or not. I never thought that I didn’t have enough time, I just assumed I had all the time in the world. I learned, and I am learning that as I get older…time is not on my side. My 4 and half hour trip back and fourth between my college town is far, daunting and just plain dreaded. A half an hour is not enough time. 5 minutes means nothing. And there is never enough time to sleep, read, talk and catch up on all of things that I care about.

When I was 22, I thought I would be happily married by 25 and if I didn’t it would be the end of the world! (Yes, a bit dramatic) Yet, that didn’t happen and I changed my plan. I worked on my career, traveled, lived in Jordan and I’m still toying with the idea of grad school.

Yet, I wouldn’t change anything for the world. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Allah has a reason for things that happen in our lives. We might not understand the meaning behind it but in the end, it all comes together. Being married by 25 would not have been a good thing for me, I know this now but then it wasn’t so fun. I don’t regret going to my college because I had the opportunity to meet some really amazing people, do some amazing things and gain experience in a number of areas that have made me the person I am today.

Time is never on our side but the way we choose to use it, is our choice. I’m learning that as my departure date to Jordan is nearing and I feel that there isn’t enough time in the day to do all the things I want to do and that these past 2 months have flown by. (Mr. Chemistry wouldn’t agree)

I will miss spending time with family and friends but will cherish the time I spent with them and remind them that Jordan isn’t that far (Just a 12 hour plane ride). Hint hint, nudge nudge.

I look forward to time spent with more family, friends and Mr. Chemistry.

How would you like to spend your time?

Going down memory lane

In preparation for my move back to Jordan, I have been going through a number of boxes that I have carted with me from house to dorm, to apartment, and to house again. It amazes me how many things I have accumulated over the years, from photos, movie stubs, tassels, stuffed toys, pens to certificates.

My pictures took me down memory lane from early childhood, wearing bunny Halloween costumes, to picnics with my family and then my days in Jordan growing up with my cousins, riding camels at Petra, wearing hideous uniforms (It was a green dress, cream shirt and black pants) and just having fun with the girls, to my American high school days in the student council, badminton team (yes, we had a team) to college where we celebrated birthdays in dorm rooms, was a part of the Student Ambassadors welcoming freshmen on to campus, graduation and then it mostly becomes a digital. Pictures cease to be printed unless they are super special (Most aren’t) and it’s just not as fun scrolling through my album on the computer, when you can’t touch, feel and hold the picture in your hand. Don’t get me wrong, some of my pictures have deteriorated so much that they are just not worth keeping but some still hold their shape.

I treasure my pictures because they take me back to a different time, sometimes I don’t remember and sometimes I do but it’s just nice to look and see how we have changed, gotten older, smiled more or less, changed style, my days without and with hijab and people who I have lost contact with, moved away, no longer talk to, and died (My their souls rest in peace). But then you find pictures of people who you still see, hold dear and remember fondly. Sometimes they are close and sometimes they aren’t. I love finding those pictures because you can share with the person and enjoy a good laugh or cry, remembering the good and bad times, highs and lows and all the things that go along with that picture.

In the end,

Pictures are worth a thousand words.

The Sun and the Moon

I haven’t done a photography post in a while. So, you are in luck! I have some awesome shots of the sun, moon, and the sunset. (If I do say so myself)

Sunset view from our backdoor.

Moon from my bedroom window

Sunset on my grandma's East Amman roof

Sunset from the airport in Atlanta, GA

 

Sunset from the airplane.

 

Sunset on the road

 

Sunset on a farm

 

Ring around the Moon in Amman

Moon with the hint of Jupiter

Around the country and world, the sun and moon are the same.

Are you in Love?

That was the question I got for the past 3 days while visiting friends in my old city. I wasn’t offended but surprised that someone would ask me that and not surprised in a bad way. More of a “Huh, that never occurred to me” way. And not in a “Love never occurred to me way”. But in a “Love was the last thing I thought about through the getting engaged process”. Okay, Love wasn’t the last thing I thought about but it wasn’t on top of the list! 

I digress, it caught me by surprise and I was honest with my friends. The question got me thinking about love and what it means.

So, I googled and this is what I found.

Love: strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.

I also decided to see what some poets thought about love and this quote by Rumi stuck out to me. “We love: that’s why life is full of so many wonderful things”

I also took the question of love to facebook and these are the responses I got:

“another meaning for the word Fusion”

“Love is faith”

“it means acting with kindness”

“Respect, understanding and comfort.”

“share life together side by side, give don’t expect, advise but not order, ask but not demand”

“Feeling complete, content, whole, everything is right in the world.”

Love is something that humans have been trying to figure out since the dawn of time. I’m not sure they have yet, but I wonder if they ever will.

I always think back to advice my late grandma (on my mom’s side) gave me one time while I was visiting her. I have no idea why she said that to me but she did and it has stuck with me. She said to me: “Samar, you will learn to love your husband”

She was a wise woman.

Are you in love?

Learning to let go.

I recently sold my car, which was really hard to do. I have had this car since 2004 and it has been with me through college, first job, first apartment, a couple of tickets (more like 3), being lost (mentally and physically), across state borders and many more memories.

To say that I am attached to my car is an understatement. It was my means of escape when I needed it and it sure is hard not to have that safety net anymore.

What made the sale easier was the nice gentleman at the car place. He was kind, understanding and a good conversationalist. The process was easy until I hit the train station to get back home and realized that I just let go of my Betsy (Yes, I named my car). The tears welled up in my eyes and everything hit. The fact that I am moving to Jordan, getting married, leaving the US along with my friends, family and life I have known for some time and then I also realized that it’s okay because I have faith in Allah and Mr. Chemistry (Do you feel the pressure, Mr Chemistry?)

So, I am learning to let go of some possessions because in the end…They are just things. And things can be replaced.

What have you let go of lately?