Ramadan has come and gone, along with Eid. I wish I could create the atmosphere of Ramadan in Jerusalem in my home but I can’t. I miss it. I hope to go back with my son one day.
But this isn’t about Ramadan per say, it’s about the 4th of July and the fireworks that got me thinking about bombs. Yes, you read that right. Bombs.
This year we heard a lot of fireworks going off and as my son gets older and more aware of the world around him he was scared of the loud ka-boom! that he heard. Which led me to think about all the children around the world who the sound of bombs is the norm and how they must be suffering. It hurts my heart to think about it. So, I will pray that they have sabr (patience) along with their parents. Find ways to give back to those whose lives are affected by the sound of bombs and hope they find peace.
I am Privileged.
I am sad. Not because something bad happened, or someone hurt my feelings but because I realized that my baby, Mr. handsome, is no longer a baby. He isn’t tiny enough to fit in my arms. He no longer coos when he is delighted to see me. He screams “Mommy”! He no longer is a baby and that is sad. It’s sad because those days are over. My son is 2 almost 3 and he is no longer a baby. It still amazes me every day how much he has grown and learned. How much I can love him. How much I love him that my heart is about to burst. But I’m sad because my baby is no longer a baby. My baby is a little boy. And I love him even more.
I have decided to come back to blogging. I have been away for so long that I forgot how to do it. Not really but almost.
A lot to say and no where to say it. Sometimes I just need to write down mindless things or things that come to me and I just don’t feel like sharing with another person through spoken word. I just want to write it down for the universe to know.
Universe I am back. How do you do?
I never thought I would tell my son to stop chewing on the furniture. I never thought I would discuss my son’s bowel movements with anyone. I never thought I would say I love you so many times a day. I never thought I would tell my son to not play in the toilet bowl. I never thought Mr. Chemistry and I would eat ice cream like criminals because Mr. handsome would be so upset if he woke up. I never thought I could love someone so much that my heart aches. I never thought I could enjoy having a kid so much. I never thought I would be a stay at home mom.
I never thought/knew/imagined that life could be so much more wonderful with the addition of my son. That his smile could make my whole day.
I never thought that I would love Mr. Chemistry more because I see the way he loves our son.
I never thought that all I could talk about was my son.
A belated happy Ramadan. May this month bring peace and serenity to all.
May Allah forgive our sins and open our hearts to him.
It’s been a long while. So much has changed. So many things to say….so little time. They say life gets busy when you have a baby..but I never believed them. Now, I do! Except my baby is no longer a baby but a toddler who is currently throwing food off his high chair. Oh, how things have changed.
Excuse me while I clean up another mess, kiss another face, wash some more hands and most of all excuse me while I watch my baby who is not a baby anymore grow.
Oh, I have missed you blog.
8 Months ago, I brought my beautiful baby boy into this world. 8 months ago my life changed forever. 8 months ago I brought my smiling, silly, beautiful son into this world. 8 months ago I became a mom.
I can’t believe it has been 8 months. 8 months of hardship, joy, tears, milestones, tests, and just love. Lots and lots of love.
More love than I can imagine. Who knew that 8 months could change your life forever? Who knew?