Ramadan has come and gone, along with Eid. I wish I could create the atmosphere of Ramadan in Jerusalem in my home but I can’t. I miss it. I hope to go back with my son one day.
But this isn’t about Ramadan per say, it’s about the 4th of July and the fireworks that got me thinking about bombs. Yes, you read that right. Bombs.
This year we heard a lot of fireworks going off and as my son gets older and more aware of the world around him he was scared of the loud ka-boom! that he heard. Which led me to think about all the children around the world who the sound of bombs is the norm and how they must be suffering. It hurts my heart to think about it. So, I will pray that they have sabr (patience) along with their parents. Find ways to give back to those whose lives are affected by the sound of bombs and hope they find peace.
I am Privileged.
I am sad. Not because something bad happened, or someone hurt my feelings but because I realized that my baby, Mr. handsome, is no longer a baby. He isn’t tiny enough to fit in my arms. He no longer coos when he is delighted to see me. He screams “Mommy”! He no longer is a baby and that is sad. It’s sad because those days are over. My son is 2 almost 3 and he is no longer a baby. It still amazes me every day how much he has grown and learned. How much I can love him. How much I love him that my heart is about to burst. But I’m sad because my baby is no longer a baby. My baby is a little boy. And I love him even more.
It’s been a long while. So much has changed. So many things to say….so little time. They say life gets busy when you have a baby..but I never believed them. Now, I do! Except my baby is no longer a baby but a toddler who is currently throwing food off his high chair. Oh, how things have changed.
Excuse me while I clean up another mess, kiss another face, wash some more hands and most of all excuse me while I watch my baby who is not a baby anymore grow.
Oh, I have missed you blog.
First, Happy New Years! I hope 2013 was fruitful and fulfilling for all and that 2014 brings more fruit and fulfillment.
It has been a month since we brought home Mr. Handsome..A WHOLE MONTH! I can’t believe time has flown by so fast. I’m just amazed.
So, I would like to share with you what I have learned in this month.
1. I never knew I could love someone so much that it hurts to be away from them.
2. I never knew that I could love my husband so much more after seeing him with our son.
3. Babies are messy. They spit up, throw up, pee, and poop constantly. It’s never-ending. Aren’t they supposed to be just cute? I mean, where did all this messy stuff come from.
4. They grow so fast. I mean, really really fast. One day my kid is swimming in his clothes and the next they are tight.
5. When Mr. Handsome smiles at me, my whole body melts.
6. Sleep is hard to get when you constantly worry that your infant isn’t breathing. I literally check every 5 minutes.
7. Babies don’t like water. He screams bloody murder every time we give him a bath.
8. It gets easier as time passes.
9. People give a lot of bad advice.
10. I have learned that having a child does become manageable.
I look forward to more months with Mr. Handsome. Can’t wait to see what this new addition to our family brings.
It’s a story non-the-less but it isn’t your typical love story.
That is the line in my head. I don’t know why it is stuck there but it sure is. I have been reading a lot of entries on love InshAllah‘s website lately and I guess I just wanted to discuss it. Share with someone what I have read, learned and been enlightened by. This last post has caught my eye, my mind and my heart. It resonates with me on a very deep level. I felt what the writer felt and I shared her fears.
I know where she is coming from and I know where it ends. It makes me realize that this just doesn’t happen to me. Other people have been through this, feel this and understand this. This isn’t a story that is unique to me and my family but people across the world have experienced it.
And the amazing part is, we all have survived. We made it through and created our own stories, families and lives. It’s amazing how resilient a person can be.
The other day I was walking home and I passed two ladies sitting at a restaurant. One older woman and the other was younger. I’m assuming they were mother and daughter. It made me miss my mom.
I miss having lunch with her at panera. I miss her coming to visit me when I lived out of state and doing fun activities together, like the farmers market, checking out cool places around town. I miss our phone conversations.
There are moments when I wish my mom lived here, in Amman. Because there are various things that happen around Amman that only my mom would want to go with me. Like garage sales. Now, I usually don’t enjoy them but sometimes you find good deals. At least my always did. Sometimes, when I go shopping and I pass a store that just screams “Mom” to me. It would be the place my mom would love and find all these weird yet oddly useful things inside it. She was always hunting for a good deal. I, sometimes, send her a photo message with good deals that I have gotten. I want her to be proud of me and share these moments with me even if she can’t be here in person.
These moments make me wish there wasn’t this huge ocean between us. That we only lived a couple of hours away not countries away. Yet, I know that she is with me when I look at my good finds or some of the things she helped me purchase when I first got married.
So, mom. Let’s have lunch. Just you and me. Somewhere, somehow.