Forgive and forget

The concept of forgiving comes up a lot when discussing various relationships. 

It’s important to forgive but never forget…or it’s important to forgive your spouse…and so on. 

but what is forgiveness?  Is it when we absolve a person of all wrong doing towards us…or when we say sorry and make it all better..or is it when we forgive ourselves for being human or is it between ourselves and Allah. Does the other person need to know? Should we share? Or do we get to keep it to ourselves….because isn’t forgiveness about finding closure with what has happened. Is it important for the other person to know that we have forgiven them? or does it depend on the situation. 

When does the forgiving part become more about us than the person? Why does it sometimes feel like when someone forgives you for whatever offense you have committed that it’s more about them being the bigger person and not about them accepting you for who you are. I feel like we blur the lines between self satisfaction of being the bigger person and actually forgiving someone for the sake of Allah.

Okay, so we forgave but then what? What happens then? Do we just continue our lives as normal, do we share with everyone who will listen what happened and how we forgave this person for whatever offense they have committed. Isn’t the forgiveness part about keeping it between you and the said person? I mean, why do we need to share? If this issue is about forgiving and not about being the bigger person….

But Ah! That is the issue…sometimes forgiveness is about being the bigger person…and showing off. Because aren’t we all a little show offs in the end? Don’t we want to be recognized by someone for our actions. 

I might be wrong but then I might not be. I just know that when I forgive…I don’t tell people about it, maybe the person concerning but I don’t think I need to share with the world. It’s between me and you…not me, you and the world. Just my 2 cents. 

How do you measure forgiveness and do you forgive? 


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