Lately, I have been walking around thinking “That is not going to be me”
I have been observing, listening, watching and compiling a list of things that I don’t like about women, men, marriages and child rearing to keep in the back of my head when I become a wife and a mother.
Since childhood, I have always been an observer of people and the world around me. I, sometimes, know more than I need to know about people and it can be bothersome at times but also very informative.
I have been spending a lot of time with married, unmarried, old, young, hip, and worldly women and I have kept a running list of things that I don’t like about their behaviors so that I will try not to repeat their mistakes (In my eyes).
Since I am a lists girl, I will make a list.
1. I will never make my children feel like a burden, in any shape or form. Children are a gift from Allah and not a burden. Not even in jest, no child should hear those words.
2. I will find more interesting topics to talk about besides the latest soap opera, the latest diet fad or the neighbors goings and comings.
3. I will not let my marriage cripple me, I will not become hopeless but hopefully it will give me wings to soar higher than before.
4. I will not dress like a grandma until I am a grandma, but stay true to my style.
5. I will not sacrifice my families well-being for better status, including location of my home, the car I drive or the schools my children attend. The more time my husband might spend away from our family for the extra money is not worth it.
6. I will not be consumed with petty jealousies. Including, who has what, where they went on their vacation and what objects they own.
7. I will treat all my children equally whether they are a boy or a girl. My girls will not be slaves for their brothers and vice versa.
8. I will do my best to give my children an Islamic upbringing. Not let the schools teach them about Islam.
9. I will not let my children be raised by a maid, nanny or have live in help.
10. I will never put my children in the middle between my husband and I.
This is my list so far, if you look at this list and think “This might be me” don’t. I am not talking about anyone in particular but just observations I have seen throughout my time spent among people in the US and Jordan.
I know I might eat my words later on but for the time being I am sticking by them. I am also extremely stubborn when it comes to my principles and I have been known to be as stubborn as a wall, a cement wall that is. Not easy to crack.