I wrote a while back about Flowery language and how I was learning to use it more often.
Mr. Chemistry and I were discussing the dinners both our families hosted and the different practices of flowery behavior that happened.
Flowery behavior is when someone is invited to another person’s house and they insist, persuade, and cajole a person into eating and drinking more but it’s not just that, it’s also putting food one someone’s plate when you see it’s empty and insisting that people eat more and more. It’s a way of showing people that you care about them by making sure that they eat/drink more.
It’s also offering tea, juice, food, fruit, and as a closing coffee. When you get the coffee, you know it’s time to go home or about time to go home. They have nothing left to offer you except caffeine to help wake you up on your drive/walk home because you have been in a food coma caused by over eating or more likely being forced to over eat.
But here is the kicker, you have to do all these things and accept the advances of your hosts graciously because if you don’t it would be considered an insult. Don’t like coffee? Suck it up, and drink it! Don’t like meat? Who cares! You gotta eat it!
I, personally, don’t like these practices for a number of reasons. (I’m sure you are all dying to know why)
- It puts the guest in an awkward position; they don’t like the food but are forced to eat it because they don’t want to be rude. I, for example, won’t eat any meat on a bone. Call it weird, but this is me and if someone gives me meat on a bone I might throw up, it really grosses me out. I usually say no, while knowing that people will either be insulted or just shrug it off but it’s not just that. They might say: “Well, why didn’t you tell us! We would have made something else!” which leads me to feel guilty.
- The host has to be over bearing to show that this person is excited to see you…but when you invite a person to your house isn’t that show enough? I mean, why invite people you don’t like over? Or maybe that is just my logic.
- Everyone has to be on his or her best behavior and put his or her best foot forward, which isn’t always easy.
But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a benefit to these practices, because they are nice…sometimes. I do love that they bring people together more often; it’s always nice to be able to meet new people, families and enjoy each other’s company. You also get to taste some amazing food because we have some good cooks in our family and I enjoy the fruits of their labor when they go all out for a gathering.
Now that I am taking steps towards matrimony, I’m sure I will have to develop some of these habits and practices. I’m thinking that I will create my own twist on traditions….they need a little shaking up!