Undying Love

I don’t show Emotions very often.

I don’t profess my undying love for people, constantly tell someone how much I love, miss or hate them. It’s just not who I am. I don’t feel the need to say thank you 500 hundred times, or apologize or state how excited, happy, ecstatic, or exhilarated, I am more than once.

It’s even hard for me to say I miss you, except to close family and friends who I care a lot about.

I don’t think it’s a problem, but apparently if I am going to live in Jordan I have to start showing and accepting all these emotions 10 times over.

I don’t want you to profess your undying love for me, or tell me how much you miss me or how beautiful I am or how wonderful I look or how much weight I lost. Thanks, but I know you don’t really care, or miss or think I’m beautiful and look wonderful and no, I didn’t lose weight.

I understand that it is part of the culture, and this is the way Arabs are. I was honestly shocked the first time said to me “Mishta'” – Basically means “I miss you” My reaction was to laugh…How could you miss me? I have only known you for a day!!! What is this insanity!

Culture shock is an understatement, but I’m used to it. Kinda like the first time someone winked at me in the US…I was seriously creeped out! Why would you wink at me? Who are you!?!?

I’m straight forward, if I miss you…you will know. If I want you to know something, I will tell you…but please don’t ask me to be someone I’m not.

Why would you want to be someone you aren’t?

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6 thoughts on “Undying Love

  1. Although this culture of mujamalat exist everywhere in the Arab world, in Jordan it is extreme. I can understand what you go through and if you are not used to it, you will get very annoyed and frustrated. Worse, people will think you don’t like them or respect them as they do.

    1. Yes, very much so. I know I have offended a lot of people by not saying the right thing or not saying enough…They just usually chalk it up to me being “American”. I’m just trying to adjust to it…I don’t use half of the right terms most of the time, but I try to be respectful…I’m not sure I will ever pull it off!

  2. I’m so much like that. And I don’t know all the right phrases to say, and those specific responses to some of those da3wat and mujamalat, which makes me look like a weirdo to some old school people.

    But I think I need to learn to pay more (honest) compliments to people. If it cheers then up, why not do it?

    1. Yes, I get the werido thing all the time :/ I never know what to say at the right moment…It’s always weird.

      I like the honest compliments…I think it’s way better than mujamalat. It does cheer people up, that is very true. Honesty is the best policy!

  3. Hi,

    Will, what you are talking about is bothersome, I understand that. But you know what, the best thing to do is setting a barrier between you and whoever you meet for the first time.

    From what you are saying, it seems like you have a pleasant and smiling face all day long. In Jordan that is not normal. It does not mean you have to frown =) but be more strict and show that you need some private space politely.

    When that someone told you “I miss you” you can just tell her/him jokingly that Jordanians are strange, they miss somebody they knew for one day.

    1. Hi Haitham,

      Thanks for stopping by! I wouldn’t say I’m always smiling but I don’t have a problem with smiling…It’s a habit. I have learned to tone that down…but the “I miss you” not taking to kindly to that one…I’m a work in progress 🙂

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