28 years and counting

I have recently turned 28. Yep, I’m getting older and closer to 30 (Yikes!) I’m not sure what scares me more…the fact that 30 is so near or that I don’t feel like I accomplished all that I wanted before 30. 

But in birthday tradition (a little late this year). I want to share 28 things I am thankful for. 

1. Allah 

2. Mr. Chemistry

3. Viber

4. Friends

5. Summer time

6. my home

7. My family

8. baking

9. my computer

10. being strong

11. laughter

12. stories

13. my kindle

14. books

15. Memories

16. Photography

17. My students

18. Beautiful Jordan

19. America

20. Air Planes

21. Tears

22. the world wide web

23. Ice cream

24. love

25. Jokes

26. the future ahead

27. Movies

28. the ability to laugh at myself

This list has changed over the years. I’m not the same person I was last year or the year before…but some things haven’t changed. Check out the old birthday posts, here, and here

Bring on the 28! 

I prefer a broken neck…

I love def jam poetry and this is one of the most powerful ones I have seen. I think we sometimes forget that nothing can replace time spent with our children and the love we give them. 

Some people just don’t seem to get that. 

 

I hope to be a good mom someday…InshAllah. 

What are we teaching our kids?

This question has been popping up a lot lately. “What are we teaching our kids?” I have been noticing that I have had a lot of issues with my kids lately.

I have had kids repeating what their parents are saying but not only that using threats to get their way which makes you wonder what is being said at home.

but it’s not just something I see at school, in other places as well.

Today, Mr. Chemistry and I were out to lunch and in came a mother, 2 boys and their maid (I mean, come on…she has 2 kids!) Anyways, they sit down…order and the mom gets a phone call. She says something to the lady on the line about coming to her house…or something (yes, I was eavesdropping) and then gets up, goes to her car and drives off. Doesn’t say anything to the maid, waiter or the kids. Just. leaves. without. the. kids. LEAVES! 

but the thing that kills me the most was the kids didn’t even notice. It’s like who cares? She left? The kids were young, too. I would say between 7 and 10. I just can’t imagine ever leaving my children in a restaurant without saying a word to the staff or the help or just LEAVING them. Period. 

What is this mother teaching her children? Mommy doesn’t care? She has more important things to do? Why would we want to teach our children that?

Why?

I wish I knew. 

Having children is a privilege not a right, a gift from Allah that not everyone is blessed with and like all gifts they should be cared for, treated with respect and above all we should thank Allah for giving us this gift, not throwing it away. I hope I never forget that. 

7 year old logic

A couple of days ago, I was having some issues with my kiddos at school. They started this bad habit of erasing on their chairs and keeping the shavings. It got to the point that they would sit on the edge of the chair, leaning toward their erasing and erase with their hand sort of behind their backs in a way only a 7-year-old can do. I usually caught them and made them throw out their hard work. (Yes, I’m cruel.) The other day it just became too much to handle and I decided to have a little chat with the kiddos about it.

I explained that we should not waste our parents money by erasing and the fact that Allah gave them talents and that they should not be wasted on this kind of thing. I also threatened with the infamous “black dot” on our behavioral charts. 

So, one of my biggest perpetrators of this issue got on board with my chat and was telling me how he had missed half the work we were doing because he was too busy erasing, how they knew that their parents didn’t want them to do this, it’s a waste of time and it has no purpose. So, I thought “Hey, you got through to them! Way to go!” with a mental pat on the back.

Boy, was I wrong.

Not minutes after I finished my talk, did they start sharpening all their pencils and kept the shavings. They then informed the Arabic teacher that Ms. Samar told us that we can’t erase anymore but she didn’t say anything about sharpening. I’m sure their logic was “Well, my pencil needs to be sharpened and it’s not wasteful!”

It just made me laugh, because it’s so true. I just love how their little minds work. I love that they find ways to work around a problem instead of just giving up. I just wish they applied this same logic to their studies. I’m sure they will, someday. 

Until then, they will find ways to work around my “rules”. 

I want…

I have been thinking about a the use of the words “I want….” We use it a lot as humans. We are constantly wanting something. From more time, more sleep, more money and the list goes on…So, I took it to facebook and asked what people wanted. 

These are some of the answers I got:

“To sleeep zzzzzzz”

“a winning lotto ticket!!”

“Me to come and see you” – this was from my cousin. Kinda made me sad and miss my family in the US just a little more. 

“To be comfortable in life “

Which got me thinking to what I want and there is so much but I think the most important thing I want is to be close to Allah and please Allah. I think it all comes down to that. Because money comes and goes, time is something we can learn to use more wisely and the rest is just stuff. 

So, what do you want?

 

Holiday Season Observations

We just passed one of the biggest holiday seasons, including Christmas, Eid, Thanksgiving and New years. I know people are gearing up for valentine’s day (Yuck) but that is a post for another day.

And I have made some observations. Now, I have seen Christmas in the US and I have seen what a huge deal  it is from families, retail stores and friends point of view but nothing compares to the shock I got in Jordan. 

I guess, it’s the first time in years that I have seen how much Christmas has impacted Jordan. I haven’t really been here around Christmas time since my early childhood  but now as an adult I see it in a different light or maybe it’s more mainstreamed now. 

I remember some of my Moms friends having trees, and seeing trees around town..but nothing like I see now. I also remember attending a christmas bazaar that was also attended by the American Ambassadors wife! Yes, the things you remember. I don’t remember shops having signs like they do now or ads…but then again…there weren’t malls in Jordan back then. (Yes, I feel old.)

I have never seen so many stores that put up decorations, sales, gift ideas and all kinds of promotions during this time. Jordan is changing and becoming a more diverse country and catering to that diversity which is cool…but on the flip side, why don’t they make this big of deal about Eid, Ramadan and other Islamic holidays? Or maybe I’m too desensitized to the Islamic Celebrations that I don’t notice. I don’t believe that is the case, though.

Here is why: This past Ramadan, I got to spend some time in Jerusalem during Ramadan, actually, the last couple of days of Ramadan and what I saw was amazing. Decorations all around the city for Ramadan, people being generous and just a great feel for Ramadan in the Holy Land. Homes around Al-Aqsa open to people praying to wash up, cool down and even offering hot tea. It was magical but then I come back to Jordan and it’s a completely different vibe. It just feels flat here, no excitement, no enjoyment just obligations. 

So, when Christmas came around. I noticed that a lot of local businesses had ads up, were asking people to come decorate their x-mas trees with them. Sent out Christmas greetings but these same businesses didn’t bother for Eid. Now, they could be Non-Muslims but some are….which doesn’t make sense to me. Why do we so willingly celebrate other people’s holidays but forget our own? Okay, maybe we can argue that people are secular Muslims but then why would they wish people a Merry Xmas and forget to wish a Happy Eid to other people.

In the end, I think times have changed and Allah knows what the world will be like when I have my own children. I just hope that I can guide them to the best path. InshAllah. 

Now, for people who want to complain. I am a Muslim from a Catholic mother and  a Muslim father. I wish my mother Merry Christmas every year and yes, I buy her a gift. (I got her something super cute this year, btw!) Why? because is my mother and as  Muslim I am taught to respect and love my parents regardless of their religion.

Lack of interest.

The other day, I was coming home from school and my friend called me about a noise disturbance in her building. She heard a woman and a man screaming at each other. That wasn’t the first time that she heard it, it had happened 2 weeks before but in the middle of the night. My friend doesn’t speak Arabic, so she asked me to call the police. I called the police and informed them of the issue, but the response I got was disheartening. They basically told me that they couldn’t do anything about it…because I wasn’t related to the woman and she didn’t actually call for help. I also didn’t have their phone number. I was very frustrated with the police because of their lack of concern. They just didn’t seem interested and weren’t going to do anything. 

They didn’t care that this person could be in serious trouble because she didn’t make the complaint. 

Laws don’t make sense. 

Continuing to live in that kind of destructive situation doesn’t make sense.

The fact that it doesn’t bother people, doesn’t make sense. 

Having children in the middle of these situations is terrible, and doesn’t make sense. 

but I pray that this woman finds a way to get out of this situation and that Allah keeps us all safe and gives us the wisdom to know when we need to seek help or leave. 

 

Belated Eid Greetings

Happy Belated Eid Greetings! 

This Eid has been a lot more hectic for me because Mr. Chemistry and I made some visits and got some visitors as well…So, it seemed like a busy time and just not enough hours in the day.

I guess this is what married life in Jordan is all about during Eid. Visits, Visits and more visits! 

Well, regardless of how I spent my Eid…I hope you enjoyed yours. (If you celebrate, of course)

 

Smile

“Smile, Samar. You need to smile more” That is what I heard coming down the stairs the other day at my job. This was coming from someone who I don’t know very well and haven’t really talked to. So, it was a bit of a shock. To say the least.

At that precise moment I was deep in thought about something..I don’t remember what but I was jolted out of my thinking that I can’t remember what it was. Then it got me thinking about smiling, laughing and all things nice. I’m not a smiling person, it’s not that I’m not happy I just don’t smile often. 

Ever since I was a child, I was very serious. I don’t have very many pictures of me smiling as a child mostly in serious poses and faces…but I guess it just depends on the person and what they can bring out in me…Some people just know how to bring out the best while others don’t. I’m lucky that Mr. Chemistry can make me smile. (I guess, it’s a good thing that I married him!)

I never have been a smiling person, but I am trying to make a conscious effort to smile more. Because after all, Smiling is Sunnah.

Watch what you say…

because you don’t know who is listening.

I have been hanging out with a lot of kids lately. Well, I am working with kids….So, it makes sense. Anywho, I have noticed that the way kids talk is a reflection of their parents…or what they hear from their parents. It’s not even what their parents are saying to them but around them. Kids look up to their parents and want to be like them, for the most part. So, they start using the same words, tone, ideas and attitudes as their parents. I have kids that threaten me with their parents. “If you don’t do what I say, I will call my dad” or if they don’t have their way “I’m going to switch schools” 

Now, not all kids get their ideas from their parents but TV as well. Some of these kids are being exposed to the garbage on TV…expecially Sponge Bob. I hate that show! 

Which makes me afraid for my future children. What will happen to them, how will I keep them safe from this crazy world and protect their innocence. How will I help them differentiate between good and bad…and how will I conduct myself in front of them to appear in the best light. It seems impossible to me now…I just hope that when the time comes, I am up to the task.