28 years and counting

I have recently turned 28. Yep, I’m getting older and closer to 30 (Yikes!) I’m not sure what scares me more…the fact that 30 is so near or that I don’t feel like I accomplished all that I wanted before 30. 

But in birthday tradition (a little late this year). I want to share 28 things I am thankful for. 

1. Allah 

2. Mr. Chemistry

3. Viber

4. Friends

5. Summer time

6. my home

7. My family

8. baking

9. my computer

10. being strong

11. laughter

12. stories

13. my kindle

14. books

15. Memories

16. Photography

17. My students

18. Beautiful Jordan

19. America

20. Air Planes

21. Tears

22. the world wide web

23. Ice cream

24. love

25. Jokes

26. the future ahead

27. Movies

28. the ability to laugh at myself

This list has changed over the years. I’m not the same person I was last year or the year before…but some things haven’t changed. Check out the old birthday posts, here, and here

Bring on the 28! 

I want…

I have been thinking about a the use of the words “I want….” We use it a lot as humans. We are constantly wanting something. From more time, more sleep, more money and the list goes on…So, I took it to facebook and asked what people wanted. 

These are some of the answers I got:

“To sleeep zzzzzzz”

“a winning lotto ticket!!”

“Me to come and see you” – this was from my cousin. Kinda made me sad and miss my family in the US just a little more. 

“To be comfortable in life “

Which got me thinking to what I want and there is so much but I think the most important thing I want is to be close to Allah and please Allah. I think it all comes down to that. Because money comes and goes, time is something we can learn to use more wisely and the rest is just stuff. 

So, what do you want?

 

Holiday Season Observations

We just passed one of the biggest holiday seasons, including Christmas, Eid, Thanksgiving and New years. I know people are gearing up for valentine’s day (Yuck) but that is a post for another day.

And I have made some observations. Now, I have seen Christmas in the US and I have seen what a huge deal  it is from families, retail stores and friends point of view but nothing compares to the shock I got in Jordan. 

I guess, it’s the first time in years that I have seen how much Christmas has impacted Jordan. I haven’t really been here around Christmas time since my early childhood  but now as an adult I see it in a different light or maybe it’s more mainstreamed now. 

I remember some of my Moms friends having trees, and seeing trees around town..but nothing like I see now. I also remember attending a christmas bazaar that was also attended by the American Ambassadors wife! Yes, the things you remember. I don’t remember shops having signs like they do now or ads…but then again…there weren’t malls in Jordan back then. (Yes, I feel old.)

I have never seen so many stores that put up decorations, sales, gift ideas and all kinds of promotions during this time. Jordan is changing and becoming a more diverse country and catering to that diversity which is cool…but on the flip side, why don’t they make this big of deal about Eid, Ramadan and other Islamic holidays? Or maybe I’m too desensitized to the Islamic Celebrations that I don’t notice. I don’t believe that is the case, though.

Here is why: This past Ramadan, I got to spend some time in Jerusalem during Ramadan, actually, the last couple of days of Ramadan and what I saw was amazing. Decorations all around the city for Ramadan, people being generous and just a great feel for Ramadan in the Holy Land. Homes around Al-Aqsa open to people praying to wash up, cool down and even offering hot tea. It was magical but then I come back to Jordan and it’s a completely different vibe. It just feels flat here, no excitement, no enjoyment just obligations. 

So, when Christmas came around. I noticed that a lot of local businesses had ads up, were asking people to come decorate their x-mas trees with them. Sent out Christmas greetings but these same businesses didn’t bother for Eid. Now, they could be Non-Muslims but some are….which doesn’t make sense to me. Why do we so willingly celebrate other people’s holidays but forget our own? Okay, maybe we can argue that people are secular Muslims but then why would they wish people a Merry Xmas and forget to wish a Happy Eid to other people.

In the end, I think times have changed and Allah knows what the world will be like when I have my own children. I just hope that I can guide them to the best path. InshAllah. 

Now, for people who want to complain. I am a Muslim from a Catholic mother and  a Muslim father. I wish my mother Merry Christmas every year and yes, I buy her a gift. (I got her something super cute this year, btw!) Why? because is my mother and as  Muslim I am taught to respect and love my parents regardless of their religion.

If you have nothing nice to say…

then keep your mouth shut! 

Yes, that was harsh but so were some words I heard the other day from a co-worker. Growing up, my mom constantly drilled it into our heads. “If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all” over and over again. I didn’t and still don’t always follow that advice but I do try to do my best. But it seems like in the Arab culture, if you have a comment. Make it. You think someone is fat. Tell them. You think the cake has too much cinnamon, tell the baker. You think the food is salty, let the cook know. You want to know why someone isn’t pregnant, ask because that isn’t a personal choice. 

You have nothing nice to say, say something negative. Because why keep it back? No one would get hurt. Oh, wait. Yeah, people do get hurt. Some comments do hurt. Some comments aren’t neccassary. Some people really just shouldn’t comment. 

But on the flip side, honesty is important and I’m an advocate for it…but a little flowery language goes a long way. I guess it’s one of those no win situations. Another piece of wisdom from my mom is “You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t” 

So, in the end. I just need to let comments roll off my back. Yet, I am human and I can’t let everything roll. Sometimes, it hurts and sometimes you just gotta cry. 

Hey, I am human, after all. 

Winding down

2012 is coming to a close. I can’t believe another year has come and gone. It’s been a year full of new and exciting things. New people, places, and lifestyle. 

But now, we must say goodbye to 2012 and hello to 2013. I don’t like odd numbers. I can’t wait to see what this year has to bring. 

2012, you have been good to me but I sure can’t wait to see what 2013 brings.

Have a happy New Year, everyone. I look forward to seeing you next year! 

Save the beaters for last

Growing up, my mom was well known (and still is) for her desserts. She made amazing everything, from chocolate chip cookies to cinnamon rolls and all from scratch to boot. She is a baker and is super good at it. So, of course I ate a lot of these yummy things and got to help quiet a bit but my fondest memory was licking the beaters clean. It was a tradition, a job well done and a treat! My brother would get one and I would get the other. So, it was always fair…sometimes I got both. (Shhhh, don’t tell him!) 

The thing is, my grandma was a great baker as well. She would also let us clean the beaters. I even have a picture that currently sits in my living of my grandma (my Allah rest her soul) and I making some type of dough. I don’t know when it was taken but I know the house it was taken in. It was the house my mom grew up in Chicago. What a lovely house, with lovely memories. 

Anywho.

Today, as I was making some delicious (if I do say so myself) cheesecake brownies, I cleaned the beaters and it took me back to my childhood days of cleaning those beaters off and I was happy to not only have one but both beaters. SCORE! (Mr. Chemistry wasn’t home to enjoy the second)

Thank you Mom for allowing me to clean the beaters and making yummy things…which is a tradition I will continue with our kiddos, someday. Well, even now without our kiddos. 

It is in the genes, afterall. 

 

Roads traveled

I have been thinking a lot about roads. I keep on seeing different roads that I have taken throughout my life in my mind. I imagine the feelings I had when I took that road, the excitement, the anticipation, the happiness, the grief, the sadness, the lonliness and all the other emotions that could go along with whatever comes at the end of that road. 

but there is one road that keeps popping up in my mind continously, it’s the road that leads to my mom’s house. I miss driving down that winding road  that leads me to the gravel drive way that I can still hear crunching underneath my cars wheels. The feeling of “yes, I am home.” 

Now, I travel different roads and home is not the same winding road anymore. It’s a nice place in a new town but I love it. 

Belated Eid Greetings

Happy Belated Eid Greetings! 

This Eid has been a lot more hectic for me because Mr. Chemistry and I made some visits and got some visitors as well…So, it seemed like a busy time and just not enough hours in the day.

I guess this is what married life in Jordan is all about during Eid. Visits, Visits and more visits! 

Well, regardless of how I spent my Eid…I hope you enjoyed yours. (If you celebrate, of course)

 

10 years

It has almost been 10 years since I graduated High School. It seems like a life time ago. Now, I’m sure some of you are thinking…”wait till you hit 20!” but I’m not there yet. I’m on my 10th and it sure makes me think about things.

Where have I been and come in the past 10 years…how things have changed. How I have changed.

High School was a trying time for me. I moved to the US in 2001, a month after 9/11 and went to a mostly white High School where they have never seen a hijabi (Girl in a scarf) and boy did I get some nasty reactions. Yet, I also got some great ones. I was surrounded by people who didn’t get it and didn’t want to get it but on the flip side I was surrounded by people who didn’t get it and wanted to get it. People who made my experience so much better and helped to shape the person I am today. 

I can’t forget those teachers and friends who helped me but I also can’t forget the people who made the experience so much worse. 

I remember distinctly the countless “threats” I got from students about forcing me to take my hijab off or the questions about Jordan and where it was. 

I also remember crying to my counselor about being unfairly treated and her telling me “that you choose to wear it, you deal with the consequences” without her understanding that it wasn’t a choice anymore. It was a part of me, like wearing clothes. 

Or when they sat me down with the Indian lady who had to stop dying her scalp red because the students didn’t understand. She changed to fit in…but I refused to change. I’m thankful to Allah for letting me stay on this path. It has led me to some really amazing places. 

10 years have passed but the memories are still fresh. 

And I don’t think I will be attending that reunion. It’s one period in my life that I just don’t want to revisit. 

Moments

I have been thinking a lot lately about memories, and moments that just make you say “This is life and it’s wonderful”. You know, those moments that just take your breath away that are too perfect to stop and capture them on film or comment. They don’t happen very often but when they do, they are a treat. Something that is never repeated. But that is the beauty of these moments, they keep on coming. 

The thing is, I’m afraid that I will forget. So, I keep on repeating them in my head like a movie, hitting play and pause. Just to keep the m refreshed and ready when I need to remember. 

Remembering is good. 

How do you remember your moments?